Yesterday afternoon I attended my friend’s church’s picnic out at Willamette Mission Park. I had been sitting at a table writing in my journal when I became aware of a man and woman talking about six yards away. Actually, the man was monopolizing the conversation and doing all the talking, the woman just nodded a lot. Wait, did I say talking? I meant complaining. This man jumped from one topic to another and in the whole time I was sitting there, I didn’t hear one positive comment come out of his mouth. He bashed everything he spoke of, negativity oozing out like a toxic sludge. Watching the woman, I wondered why she stood there and listened to what I thought of as poison. When Deborah came over to introduce me to a friend’s baby, we talked for a minute before I said “Let’s move out of hearing range from that man.” I had more than enough time nearby him. Shortly after, while standing in line for the potluck, I thought about what I hoped I would say to him if he tried that with me. “You seem to be very negative about many things. Isn’t there anything positive and joyful in your life that you would like to talk about instead?” That’s the polite version. Here is the more outspoken one, “You know, being so negative about so many topics is not healthy for you or those listening. You create your own pessimistic reality by doing that. Why do you want to live in such a dark place?”
The more I learn about keeping an optimistic and positive outlook, the more I see a negative one as poison. A Ghostbusters movie made in the 80’s illustrated this beautifully. All the negativity in New York was feeding the river of sludge running underneath the city that started coming up through the sewer and attacking people. Negativity is a lot like that river of sludge. The more we think about the negative in life, the more it will influence us. Knowing the reality of things is important but what you choose to look out of that reality is entirely up to you. I certainly don’t want to be around those who complain and dwell on the negative, that’s unhealthy for me. I try hard to be around those with a more cheerful outlook. The next time I am around someone like that, I’m speaking up.
365-09 #224