When I have gone on my writing retreat every other year, I pack things like cheese and crackers or backpacking meals I can hydrate with water as there is no microwave at the hotel and I don’t want to be wasting my time (or money) constantly going to restaurants. After the delicious breakfast they do provide, I want to be in the chair facing the ocean reading or writing in my notebook. It’s a bare bones approach but it works.
This year, however, I have a full kitchen where I can cook my own meals. While brainstorming what I wanted to make so I could purchase the needed groceries, my first thought was goulash, then tomato soup and grilled cheese, oatmeal, eggs and hash browns, bean and bacon soup, and a tuna with bread dish my mom used to make. Looking at my list, I realized what I had done: I had listed out comfort foods from my childhood made by my dad, mom, and grandpa. To this I added some blueberries, several adult beverages, and coffee. At the store when picking cookies, I was inspired by my theme and grabbed a box of Nilas and a jug of milk. Soul food.
Re-finding my lovable center
At various times in our lives when we have experienced or are facing change, our souls cry out to re-find our center, the essence of ourselves. Like digging our taproot down into the soil to find the bedrock of us, we search for those reminders of inner strength and knowing. For me, this often includes the foods I grew up with to remind myself that as much as I change over the years, I am also who I’ve always been and that I am lovable. They are my reminder that all of me is beautiful and worth caring for, and that I can live out of that going forward.
One of the big questions I am sitting with during this year’s retreat is what it looks like when I am not loving or taking care of myself and what changes I can make to express that love going forward. Usually, I tend to focus on work, improving my finances, and taking care of others and making them happy. Things like self-care, eating my favorite foods, writing, and art are afterthoughts that too often are left on the shelf or in the closet. Despite the fact the words “Poet” and “Artist” hang on the wall in my office at home, they are not often actions in my chair.
A living example
As I write, my dog, Halo, is asleep in her bed in the kitchen window beside me. I put her up there because I knew she would love the expansive view of the river and forest. She watched every leaf twist in the breeze and every ripple of water until sleep overtook her (because trust me—we didn’t get a lot of sleep last night). Watching her, it occurs to me that she absolutely loves herself. There is no other way for her to be. She knows she deserves every walk, every pet, every treat, every cuddle, every comfortable bed and blanket without question. She does not earn these things through work or making others happy. She simply exists in this world with joy and never questions that we will provide these things for her. Even when she keeps me up at all hours of the night, it does not change her opinion of herself. In the morning, she is as deserving as she was the evening before. She is ready to enjoy her day. I understand that hers is an example I would do well to emulate.
We all deserve prioritizing self-care
My soul, that wise counselor, knew I needed to go back to those early years and use food as a form of self-care. In the case of Nilas, very early years, and come to this writing retreat as my whole person remembering the love I have for myself.
We all deserve, without question, love and self-care. We all deserve to prioritize ourselves first, to make sure we have what we need. Whether that is food we love, exploring skin care options (let me know if you have suggestions), or making sure you take time for what you’re passionate about, you are the only person who can make sure that happens. You are the only one responsible for how you treat yourself. In life, we don’t get a second self or a second body. Take the time to care for the one you have. It is an intrinsic truth that you deserve it. Halo agrees.