Yesterday morning I got together with a friend for coffee and the conversation turned to dating. Not a terribly easy topic to write about, but I am supposed to be working on another writing topic and am having a hard time doing so because this is on my mind. Not the dating part, the single part. Quite honestly, I go back and forth between being very interested in the possibility of getting married and just staying single. There are benefits to both. By being married, you have a companion, someone to be with, to talk to and argue with, to go on trips with, and so on. Being single, I have a lot more time and freedom to live my life as I choose and to invest in my writing and other projects not to mention all the people I can spend more time with as well. It’s a common conundrum a lot of single friends my age are dealing with. Do you pursue new dating pools, do you actively look or do you choose to be happy with where you’re at? Neither answer is wrong. The individual really has to make this choice for themselves based on who they are and where they’re at in their emotional health and life.
In my own experience, I have realized to a deeper and deeper extent how important the faith of my maybe someday husband is to me. While working on this other writing project, I’ve become even more aware of how God is the core of me, how closely fused and bonded we are together and how important that relationship is to me. Being torn apart from Him is not even possible. My soul is utterly His. So my husband loving God and actively growing his own faith is vital to me, a non negotiable. But I have become frustrated with the other singles out there who don’t care about faith or who’s religion is just about morality. And I’m not saying all singles are like that, many aren’t, but I haven’t seen them around. There are other aspects I want as well, but faith is the most important and I haven’t found those qualities together. It is a frustrating business.
Lucky for me, I am quite happy being single most of the time. I like the freedom inherent in it, I like having the time to invest as I wish. I like being able to develop friendships with a wide variety of people. I wish this question of dating was a bit easier, I wish I could give some answers to all my single friends who are just as frustrated and questioning as I, but life is a lot messier than that. The only thing I can tell you is to be happy with yourself, by yourself. Learn to rely on your own strength and resourcefulness. If that life partner does come along, wonderful, but if not, you still have two wonderful someones with you: God and yourself. In the meantime, give me a call and we can go do something together.
365-09 #229