As I walked around the Oregon State Fair today, I was reminded of a phrase I learned from William P. Young, author of The Shack. “It’s an observation, not a value statement.” What that means is when I say something, I am merely stating something I sense or see, it is not about your value as a person. For example, if you tell me about a conversation and I say, “That wasn’t a supportive thing to say,” I am not saying: “You idiot! How could you be so insensitive! You are a terrible person!” I am merely observing that what you said was not supportive to the person to whom you spoke. That’s it, just an observation. Frankly, I don’t even remember what was said to me today that reminded me of this but there are often times during my day I bring this phrase to mind to remind myself not to take personally something someone else said. They are not speaking of my value, which can’t be touched or diminished anyway, they are merely making an observation. This phrase alone has helped me beyond description. Give it a whirl.
365-09 #242