Saturday night I dreamed I was an American woman soldier during World War II> Soemthing was wrong where I needed help and I came across some German women soldiers who thought I was also German. When they were trying to help me, I attempted, to hide the Star of David hanging around my neck in one of my hands so they wouldn’t find out who I was and kill me.
Sunday night I dreamed I was in a house, also during World War II, and I saw through the window, planes flying overhead. I knew they were there to bomb my area because I was Jewish. Sure enough, there was a bright yellow/white light and I was dead. It didn’t hurt, I was alive and then I wasn’t. Like being picked up and taken away. We wre then placed back in the house to see what had happened in slow motion. Right before the light came, I saw our friend duck down a trap door. She knew the planes were coming and what they were going to do, she had betrayed us. I tried to comfort my grandmother (not mine in real life) on the couch, she was in emotional pain.
The dream didn’t leave me upset when I woke up, it was deeper than that, more real in some way. Though I am Jewish and have studied the Holocaust a great deal, I haven’t been thinking about it much lately except that our New Year is coming up. I talked abou it tonight with two friends, one of whom is also Jewish, and we talked about what it is like to die. It’s kind of like slipping away, where staying present is harder than letting go. We didn’t think it actually hurt to die, my friend had actually been a step away from death before and she described it as floating away. Hmm… Whatever the dream means, if anything, I am less afraid of dying. In a strange way, I feel like I’ve done it before, in my dreams.