This morning we met before church to talk about community. This is one of the quotes we looked at:
Parker Palmer – “In a true community we will not choose our companions, for our choices are so often limited by self-serving motive. Instead our companions will be given to us by grace. Often they will be persons who will upset our settled notion of self and world. In fact, we might define community as the place where the person you least want to live with always lives!” (Pendle Hill Pamphlet #212, 1977 pg 20)
As much as I like this quote, I think we do choose our community, at least our deeper community. We do have the community we interact with every day or even every week and in places like where we work or go to school, Parker Palmer is right, those companions are given to us by grace. They are not the ones we would have chosen, but were chosen for us to make us grow. Then there is our deeper community we do choose, the ones who are there for us, with whom we share those close bonds.
This afternoon I attended a benefit concert given by my friends Christine and Rob. As I sat there and listened to Christine sing, (she has an exquisite voice), I was remembering all the times I’ve spent with her in rehearsals of one kind or another. I was in both the bell choir and adult choir for years. I learned so much about music, singing, and coming together under her teaching but more than that, was her heart. I loved her heart. I still do. I started house sitting for her not long after we met. Sasha, her dog, and I became buds. She is a dog after my own heart and has been there for me through my darkest moments. The day I fell to the floor and truly entered the dark night, Sasha was at my side letting me hug her. Then when my family cut way back on celebrating holidays together to accommodate my siblings other family obligations, or postponed them altogether, Christine, Rob, and the Hellers, have always been there with open arms welcoming me to spend holidays with them.
I remember the first time when I realized what a “community” we had become when Christine’s dad was visiting and shared his concern about leaving Sasha behind as they went on vacation. Non-chalantly, Christine reassured him that Sasha considered me a part of the family and that she would be fine. Since that time, I know that Christine too, considers me like family, and that touches me deeply. I really appreciate them and the friendship we’ve shared. Some of my best memories of my 20’s has her in them.
So what is community? I think it is those we choose to walk with and who we find walking alongside us. It is grace and it is a choice. My community is much like the quilts I make. Some people from here, some people from there. They are the people I have met in my life and who stayed, who touch me so deeply, my community is not the same without them.
365-09 #123